Sometimes, when things get stressful, I freeze.
I'm not talking the fight-or-flight response, I'm talking just an overall freeze on all productivity.
Since I used momentum in a previous post, let's call this a state of inertia.
I'm sure that there is a very good psychological reason why I freeze when life gets stressful. Why I respond to having too much to do by doing nothing. Or by focusing my energy on something absolutely non-essential like reorganizing my pantry.
I got my edited manuscript back last week, and haven't done more than glanced at it.
I have a critique partner helping me with The Bodyguard, but haven't sent out anything in several days.
I have story ideas bursting in my head, but have done nothing to capture them on paper.
I've hardly touched my computer this past week.
And I know why. It's approaching the end of August, and I haven't secured a full time job for this year. Or even a part time one. Not a steady Monday-Friday sort of job. I'll be able to pay all of my bills working as a short term substitute, and it's kind of nice to have that sort of flexibility, but it is stressful wondering when I might get pulled in for the next interview, or how many days of work I might get in September (since not that many teachers miss work the first month of the school year).
And I'm stressed about getting The Talented out in October. And all of that stress is spilling over into my other writing pursuits.
And I know that all of this will change once September rolls around. If I get a job, it will change immediately as I throw myself into preparing for my job, pulling together lesson plans, and decorating my classroom. If I don't get a job, this state of inertia will end when I accept that fact and transition into substitute mode.
It will change when I start working on The Talented again.
It will change when I can summon enough of my energy into changing that inertia into momentum, rather than using it to re-read books.
But for right now, I'm frozen, and I don't know if I have the energy to unthaw.
I'm not talking the fight-or-flight response, I'm talking just an overall freeze on all productivity.
Since I used momentum in a previous post, let's call this a state of inertia.
I'm sure that there is a very good psychological reason why I freeze when life gets stressful. Why I respond to having too much to do by doing nothing. Or by focusing my energy on something absolutely non-essential like reorganizing my pantry.
I got my edited manuscript back last week, and haven't done more than glanced at it.
I have a critique partner helping me with The Bodyguard, but haven't sent out anything in several days.
I have story ideas bursting in my head, but have done nothing to capture them on paper.
I've hardly touched my computer this past week.
And I know why. It's approaching the end of August, and I haven't secured a full time job for this year. Or even a part time one. Not a steady Monday-Friday sort of job. I'll be able to pay all of my bills working as a short term substitute, and it's kind of nice to have that sort of flexibility, but it is stressful wondering when I might get pulled in for the next interview, or how many days of work I might get in September (since not that many teachers miss work the first month of the school year).
And I'm stressed about getting The Talented out in October. And all of that stress is spilling over into my other writing pursuits.
And I know that all of this will change once September rolls around. If I get a job, it will change immediately as I throw myself into preparing for my job, pulling together lesson plans, and decorating my classroom. If I don't get a job, this state of inertia will end when I accept that fact and transition into substitute mode.
It will change when I start working on The Talented again.
It will change when I can summon enough of my energy into changing that inertia into momentum, rather than using it to re-read books.
But for right now, I'm frozen, and I don't know if I have the energy to unthaw.
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